Quit this job.
Before it turns into a real hatred between me and my soon to be ex-bosses. Feel so depreciated. They don't have an ounce of diplomacy in their bones. I can see they're two faced liars. I feel no regret leaving the place and the feeling seems to be mutual. Nothing I did was good for them. And they don't know how to instruct. They yell, they burbble and criticize about everything, whether it's my hair, clothes, how i go to work, what i think, how i walk (too slow she said!) and my other boss i couldn't speak to him anymore because it's too much work proposing the words so he doesn't ween or become all girly. geezus. they don't have any positive things to say. when they say positive things, i can already picture them badmouthing in the other way. so much evil gossiping. they talk in whispers almost all the time. i mean i'm sure they're not that evil, some are nice, but they don't have a life. period. no life. even i have more life than they. me, the one who hardly go somewhere in the evening. really. scary. they're workaholics. i'm going to be a looney if i stay any longer. i used to think i wanted to do pr or advertising, but now i know, all glitz and no substance. all show and no gitz. well at least it's my opinion. :s

 I am so confused about my identity sometimes... sort of like I want to be Thai but I'm not 100% Thai because I hardly know anything about my own country. My English is better than my Thai and I prefer to be with foreigners because I could relate to the feeling of being an expat. Or enjoy the special attention that I'm a foreigner. So addicted to that feeling of being an outsider... haha. It's a part of me that I'm learning to accept. I still have trouble discovering what I want to do and my powers are limited... I sometimes wish I'm 50 and already have a stable and happy lifestyle and free to do whatever I want. I do hope I'd be free then. Maybe more responsibilities though...

Wasted a workday
I have a confession to make. Except for cleaning up old papers, I have been playing on facebook the entire day. My conscience bothered me pretty bad for some reason. Maybe it's because I haven't proved my worth yet. But all the reading is really boring. I have no idea about the wetlands. So I re-read it again and again. My eyes are going to pop out. Anyway, I should stop pressuring myself. It's time to go home! Er... what is the point of my existence? To make myself happy? I am surely making myself happy the entire day. anyway... tomorrow will be better.

Yours truly,

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